3. To Serve A Mission or Not

                                          

My whole life, my dad has talked about me going on a mission. He talked about how I would be such a great example to all my younger siblings, serve so many people, and how it would change my whole life. For a long time I just smiled and said "maybe", as the missionary age for girls was still 21. But then when I was in high school, the missionary age changed to 19. My dad still talked about a mission, and I agreed because it was far away and seemed like a good idea. My senior year came and many of my friends got their calls. I was the youngest by quite a bit, (I only turned 18 as the first semester of college started) so my focus was on college instead of a mission yet. School went on, but then some of my very close friends started working on papers and waiting for their calls.  I realized that the time started coming that either I had to get serious about a mission or it was time to move on from that idea and focus on school. I prayed and prayed and prayed for Heavenly Father to tell me if I should go on a mission or not.  I was trying to put myself in situations where I could get a solid answer. But I kept going back and forth, changing my mind all the time. I had to make sure that I was going for the right reasons and not just because it was expected of me. Then one day as I was talking to a friend he said something about how sometimes you just need to decide and give it your full 100%. So I decided that was what I was going to do. I made the decision that yes, I was fully committed to going on a mission and that unless I was told that it was absolutely wrong, my mind was made up. At first, I was still having a few doubts about my decision. But then, small conformation of my decision would come. I would sit in a religion class and the teacher would talk about it, and I would feel so strong about a mission. Someone would give a missionary talk at church, at the feeling would come back again. This kept happening. I kept feeling stronger and stronger about the idea. Everyday the topic of missionary work would somehow come up. As time went on, I realized that the things that would have kept me from going on a mission (mainly school) were not even relevant reasons for me anymore. I couldn't expect to plan my whole life and have everything work out exactly like that. There's a bigger plan and going on a mission is part of that plan. And although I still have about 2 1/2 months before I can submit my papers, and going on a mission is a scary thought, I know that this is what I am supposed to be doing.